God in the Gutter by Deborah Silva

Victims of child sexual abuse feel the muck of the gutter, are smothered by darkness, and often see no way out of a perceived life sentence of brokenness. They may struggle to find joy or freedom in healthy relationships or wither inside, thinking no one could possibly love them. Others throw themselves into promiscuity, hoping to capture moments of physical love as evidence they are worthy of love. God in the Gutter is just such a story: a memoir of abuse and brokenness … and hope. Repeatedly sexually abused, Deborah grows up wrapped in tentacles of guilt and shame. But she's smart and beautiful and strikes out to be somebody worthy of love. Grasping at elusive straws, she succeeds as prom queen, fashion model, Playboy centerfold model, and an invited guest at Hugh Hefner's housewarming party. She dates wealthy men, including movie stars and a revolving door of one-night stands with the "beautiful people." But despite having everything many girls only dream of, Deborah finds herself on the precipice of suicide when God reveals Himself to her in a miraculous incident. She learns about love and hope and life after brokenness … the love and hope and life available to all whose lives have been shattered by sexual abuse. God is there to lift you out of the gutter.