Mollie's Rules for the Socially Inept: 2012 by Mollie Fermaglich

MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT, by humorist Mollie Fermaglich and written with tongue planted firmly, examines social behavior and customs. Without question there are those people who know inherently which fork to use, how to properly eat chicken and what to wear to the Bridgehampton Polo Match. Then there are the rest us. If you are someone who places a napkin on your lap only when dining with others, swallow olive pits because you don’t know what else to do with them, who must think twice before answering the question, “Were you brought up in a barn?” MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT is for you. It is a book that addresses such monumental questions about what is or isn’t socially acceptable in 2012: What should you know about dating a married person? Where do monograms belong? Is there anything wrong with ordering the most expensive thing on the menu even if you know your date is broke? How can you fire someone and still get him to finish his work before he leaves? Is it rude to ask your hostess where she’s hiding the good booze? Are personal ringtones annoying to everyone or just me? How soon after the meal is served may one leave a dinner party? How can you avoid contributing to office gifts? If someone is choking at the dinner table, is it okay to ask for his dessert? What is in poor taste and can you get away with it anyway? MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT does not attempt to change you, nor is it concerned with your behavior when you are home alone because even if you use your mouth to clip your toe-nails, who cares? It’s a book geared to help those of you with questionable table manners, limited social grace and absolutely no finesse whatsoever, carry off your reprehensible behavior with verve and style. Most importantly, it is a practical book, offering no-nonsense, straight-forward advice on how to handle yourself in the most difficult social and professional settings. For it is only when you are comfortable in these situations that you will be able to relax, feel good about yourself and pay attention to the truly important things, including the company you’re in and the ambience of your surroundings that you will be able to ask yourself, “Hey – if this is such a classy party why is there a ‘cash-only’ bar?” Whether you’re inept at the dinner table, when dining at a fine restaurant, at parties, the office or on a blind date with someone who’s much fatter than he sounded on the phone, MOLLIE’S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT are the only rules to live by in these ungovernable times.